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BUT do not let us quarrel any more,
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No, my Lucrezia; bear with me for once:
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Sit down and all shall happen as you wish.
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You turn your face, but does it bring your
heart?
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I’ll work then for your friend’s friend, never
fear,
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Treat his own subject after his own way,
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Fix his own time, accept too his own price,
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And shut the money into this small hand
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When next it takes mine. Will it? tenderly?
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Oh, I’ll content him,—but to-morrow, Love!
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I often am much wearier than you think,
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This evening more than usual, and it seems
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As if—forgive now—should you let me sit
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Here by the window with your hand in mine
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And look a half-hour forth on Fiesole,
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Both of one mind, as married people use,
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Quietly, quietly the evening through,
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I might get up to-morrow to my work
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Cheerful and fresh as ever. Let us try.
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To-morrow, how you shall be glad for this!
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Your soft hand is a woman of itself,
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And mine the man’s bared breast she curls
inside.
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Don’t count the time lost, neither; you must
serve
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For each of the five pictures we require:
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It saves a model. So! keep looking so—
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My serpentining beauty, rounds on rounds!
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—How could you ever prick those perfect ears,
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Even to put the pearl there! oh, so sweet—
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My face, my moon, my everybody’s moon,
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Which everybody looks on and calls his,
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And, I suppose, is looked on by in turn,
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While she looks—no one’s: very dear, no less.
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You smile? why, there’s my picture ready made,
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There’s what we painters call our harmony!
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A common grayness silvers everything,—
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All in a twilight, you and I alike
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—You, at the point of your first pride in me
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(That’s gone you know),—but I, at every point;
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My youth, my hope, my art, being all toned down
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To yonder sober pleasant Fiesole.
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There’s the bell clinking from the chapel-top;
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That length of convent-wall across the way
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Holds the trees safer, huddled more inside;
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The last monk leaves the garden; days decrease,
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And autumn grows, autumn in everything.
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Eh? the whole seems to fall into a shape
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As if I saw alike my work and self
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And all that I was born to be and do,
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A twilight-piece. Love, we are in God’s hand.
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How strange now looks the life he makes us
lead;
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So free we seem, so fettered fast we are!
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I feel he laid the fetter: let it lie!
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This chamber for example—turn your head—
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All that’s behind us! You don’t understand
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Nor care to understand about my art,
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But you can hear at least when people speak:
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And that cartoon, the second from the door
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—It is the thing, Love! so such things should
be—
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Behold Madonna!—I am bold to say.
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I can do with my pencil what I know,
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What I see, what at bottom of my heart
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I wish for, if I ever wish so deep—
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Do easily, too—when I say, perfectly,
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I do not boast, perhaps: yourself are judge,
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Who listened to the Legate’s talk last week,
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And just as much they used to say in France.
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At any rate ’tis easy, all of it!
|
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No sketches first, no studies, that’s long
past:
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I do what many dream of all their lives,
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—Dream? strive to do, and agonize to do,
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And fail in doing. I could count twenty such
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On twice your fingers, and not leave this town,
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Who strive—you don’t know how the others strive
|
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To paint a little thing like that you smeared
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Carelessly passing with your robes afloat,—
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Yet do much less, so much less, Someone says,
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(I know his name, no matter)—so much less!
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Well, less is more, Lucrezia: I am judged.
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There burns a truer light of God in them,
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In their vexed beating stuffed and stopped-up
brain,
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Heart, or whate’er else, than goes on to prompt
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This low-pulsed forthright craftsman’s hand of
mine.
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Their works drop groundward, but themselves, I
know,
|
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|
Reach many a time a heaven that’s shut to me,
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|
Enter and take their place there sure enough,
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Though they come back and cannot tell the
world.
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|
My works are nearer heaven, but I sit here.
|
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|
The sudden blood of these men! at a word—
|
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|
Praise them, it boils, or blame them, it boils
too.
|
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|
I, painting from myself and to myself,
|
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|
Know what I do, am unmoved by men’s blame
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|
Or their praise either. Somebody remarks
|
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|
Morello’s outline there is wrongly traced,
|
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|
His hue mistaken; what of that? or else,
|
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|
Rightly traced and well ordered; what of that?
|
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|
Speak as they please, what does the mountain
care?
|
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|
Ah, but a man’s reach should exceed his grasp,
|
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|
Or what’s a heaven for? All is silver-gray
|
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|
Placid and perfect with my art: the worse!
|
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|
I know both what I want and what might gain,
|
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|
And yet how profitless to know, to sigh
|
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|
“Had I been two, another and myself,
|
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|
Our head would have o’erlooked the world!” No
doubt.
|
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|
Yonder’s a work now, of that famous youth
|
|
|
The Urbinate who died five years ago.
|
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|
(’Tis copied, George Vasari sent it me.)
|
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|
Well, I can fancy how he did it all,
|
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|
Pouring his soul, with kings and popes to see,
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|
|
Reaching, that heaven might so replenish him,
|
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|
Above and through his art—for it gives way;
|
|
|
That arm is wrongly put—and there again—
|
|
|
A fault to pardon in the drawing’s lines,
|
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|
Its body, so to speak: its soul is right,
|
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|
He means right—that, a child may understand.
|
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|
Still, what an arm! and I could alter it:
|
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|
But all the play, the insight and the stretch—
|
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|
Out of me, out of me! And wherefore out?
|
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|
Had you enjoined them on me, given me soul,
|
|
|
We might have risen to Rafael, I and you!
|
|
|
Nay, Love, you did give all I asked, I think—
|
|
|
More than I merit, yes, by many times.
|
|
|
But had you—oh, with the same perfect brow,
|
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|
And perfect eyes, and more than perfect mouth,
|
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|
And the low voice my soul hears, as a bird
|
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|
The fowler’s pipe, and follows to the snare—
|
|
|
Had you, with these the same, but brought a
mind!
|
|
|
Some women do so. Had the mouth there urged
|
|
|
“God and the glory! never care for gain,
|
|
|
The present by the future, what is that?
|
|
|
Live for fame, side by side with Agnolo!
|
|
|
Rafael is waiting: up to God, all three!”
|
|
|
I might have done it for you. So it seems:
|
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|
Perhaps not. All is as God overrules.
|
|
|
Beside, incentives come from the soul’s self;
|
|
|
The rest avail not. Why do I need you?
|
|
|
What wife had Rafael, or has Agnolo?
|
|
|
In this world, who can do a thing, will not;
|
|
|
And who would do it, cannot, I perceive:
|
|
|
Yet the will’s somewhat—somewhat, too, the
power—
|
|
|
And thus we half-men struggle. At the end,
|
|
|
God, I conclude, compensates, punishes.
|
|
|
’Tis safer for me, if the award be strict,
|
|
|
That I am something underrated here,
|
|
|
Poor this long while, despised, to speak the
truth.
|
|
|
I dared not, do you know, leave home all day,
|
|
|
For fear of chancing on the Paris lords.
|
|
|
The best is when they pass and look aside;
|
|
|
But they speak sometimes; I must bear it all.
|
|
|
Well may they speak! That Francis, that first
time,
|
|
|
And that long festal year at Fontainebleau!
|
|
|
I surely then could sometimes leave the ground,
|
|
|
Put on the glory, Rafael’s daily wear,
|
|
|
In that humane great monarch’s golden look,—
|
|
|
One finger in his beard or twisted curl
|
|
|
Over his mouth’s good mark that made the smile,
|
|
|
One arm about my shoulder, round my neck,
|
|
|
The jingle of his gold chain in my ear,
|
|
|
I painting proudly with his breath on me,
|
|
|
All his court round him, seeing with his eyes,
|
|
|
Such frank French eyes, and such a fire of
souls
|
|
|
Profuse, my hand kept plying by those hearts,—
|
|
|
And, best of all, this, this, this face beyond,
|
|
|
This in the background, waiting on my work,
|
|
|
To crown the issue with a last reward!
|
|
|
A good time, was it not, my kingly days?
|
|
|
And had you not grown restless… but I know—
|
|
|
’Tis done and past; ’twas right, my instinct
said;
|
|
|
Too live the life grew, golden and not gray,
|
|
|
And I’m the weak-eyed bat no sun should tempt
|
|
|
Out of the grange whose four walls make his
world.
|
|
|
How could it end in any other way?
|
|
|
You called me, and I came home to your heart.
|
|
|
The triumph was—to reach and stay there; since
|
|
|
I reached it ere the triumph, what is lost?
|
|
|
Let my hands frame your face in your hair’s
gold,
|
|
|
You beautiful Lucrezia that are mine!
|
|
|
“Rafael did this, Andrea painted that;
|
|
|
The Roman’s is the better when you pray,
|
|
|
But still the other’s Virgin was his wife”—
|
|
|
Men will excuse me. I am glad to judge
|
|
|
Both pictures in your presence; clearer grows
|
|
|
My better fortune, I resolve to think.
|
|
|
For, do you know, Lucrezia, as God lives,
|
|
|
Said one day Agnolo, his very self,
|
|
|
To Rafael … I have known it all these years…
|
|
|
(When the young man was flaming out his
thoughts
|
|
|
Upon a palace-wall for Rome to see,
|
|
|
Too lifted up in heart because of it)
|
|
|
“Friend, there’s a certain sorry little scrub
|
|
|
Goes up and down our Florence, none cares how,
|
|
|
Who, were he set to plan and execute
|
|
|
As you are, pricked on by your popes and kings,
|
|
|
Would bring the sweat into that brow of yours!”
|
|
|
To Rafael’s!—And indeed the arm is wrong.
|
|
|
I hardly dare… yet, only you to see,
|
|
|
Give the chalk here—quick, thus the line should
go!
|
|
|
Ay, but the soul! he’s Rafael! rub it out!
|
|
|
Still, all I care for, if he spoke the truth,
|
|
|
(What he? why, who but Michel Agnolo?
|
|
|
Do you forget already words like those?)
|
|
|
If really there was such a chance, so lost,—
|
|
|
Is, whether you’re—not grateful—but more
pleased.
|
|
|
Well, let me think so. And you smile indeed!
|
|
|
This hour has been an hour! Another smile?
|
|
|
If you would sit thus by me every night
|
|
|
I should work better, do you comprehend?
|
|
|
I mean that I should earn more, give you more.
|
|
|
See, it is settled dusk now; there’s a star;
|
|
|
Morello’s gone, the watch-lights show the wall,
|
|
|
The cue-owls speak the name we call them by.
|
|
|
Come from the window, love,—come in, at last,
|
|
|
Inside the melancholy little house
|
|
|
We built to be so gay with. God is just.
|
|
|
King Francis may forgive me: oft at nights
|
|
|
When I look up from painting, eyes tired out,
|
|
|
The walls become illumined, brick from brick
|
|
|
Distinct, instead of mortar, fierce bright
gold,
|
|
|
That gold of his I did cement them with!
|
|
|
Let us but love each other. Must you go?
|
|
|
That Cousin here again? he waits outside?
|
|
|
Must see you—you, and not with me? Those loans?
|
|
|
More gaming debts to pay? you smiled for that?
|
|
|
Well, let smiles buy me! have you more to
spend?
|
|
|
While hand and eye and something of a heart
|
|
|
Are left me, work’s my ware, and what’s it
worth?
|
|
|
I’ll pay my fancy. Only let me sit
|
|
|
The gray remainder of the evening out,
|
|
|
Idle, you call it, and muse perfectly
|
|
|
How I could paint, were I but back in France,
|
|
|
One picture, just one more—the Virgin’s face.
|
|
|
Not yours this time! I want you at my side
|
|
|
To hear them—that is, Michel Agnolo—
|
|
|
Judge all I do and tell you of its worth.
|
|
|
Will you? To-morrow, satisfy your friend.
|
|
|
I take the subjects for his corridor,
|
|
|
Finish the portrait out of hand—there, there,
|
|
|
And throw him in another thing or two
|
|
|
If he demurs; the whole should prove enough
|
|
|
To pay for this same Cousin’s freak. Beside,
|
|
|
What’s better and what’s all I care about,
|
|
|
Get you the thirteen scudi for the ruff!
|
|
|
Love, does that please you? Ah, but what does
he,
|
|
|
The Cousin, what does he to please you more?
|
|
|
|
|
|
I am grown peaceful as old age
to-night.
|
|
|
I regret little, I would change still less.
|
|
|
Since there my past life lies, why alter it?
|
|
|
The very wrong to Francis!—it is true
|
|
|
I took his coin, was tempted and complied,
|
|
|
And built this house and sinned, and all is
said.
|
|
|
My father and my mother died of want.
|
|
|
Well, had I riches of my own? you see
|
|
|
How one gets rich! Let each one bear his lot.
|
|
|
They were born poor, lived poor, and poor they
died;
|
|
|
And I have labored somewhat in my time
|
|
|
And not been paid profusely. Some good son
|
|
|
Paint my two hundred pictures—let him try!
|
|
|
No doubt, there’s something strikes a balance.
Yes.
|
|
|
You loved me quite enough, it seems to-night.
|
|
|
This must suffice me here. What would one have?
|
|
|
In heaven, perhaps, new chances, one more
chance—
|
|
|
Four great walls in the New Jerusalem,
|
|
|
Meted on each side by the angel’s reed,
|
|
|
For Leonard, Rafael, Agnolo and me
|
|
|
To cover—the three first without a wife,
|
|
|
While I have mine! So—still they overcome
|
|
|
Because there’s still Lucrezia,—as I choose.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Again the Cousin’s whistle! Go, my
Love.
|
|
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|